I had a friend who lost a lot of weight because she was extremely sick. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her beyond some combination of IBS and pelvic floor issues. Throw some food allergies and inflammation issues into the mix, and she was struggling to both eat, and use the toilet. She was utterly miserable, and super anxious. And the more anxious she became, the worse her issues got. It was like a snake eating its tail. She told me one day that she was in so much pain, she had a sudden impulse to drive her car into a tree. It was a terrible time, so I tried to be supportive and spend time with her, however I could. One day we were at Costco together, and we ran into a mutual friend. That friend hadn't seen her and was like- "Oh my god! You look amazing. What are you doing?" Soooo awkward- cuz... "Actually, I've been really sick." (Not that it's any of your business.) Can you imagine putting your foot in your mouth like that!? "Well, it's the cancer, turns out it's great for the diet!"
I know you think you're being nice- but for fuck's sake- STOP complimenting people on their weight loss, or inquiring about it (I don't care how curious you are,) unless they bring it up first. Even then- I tend to try to steer the conversation away from anything involving the words "diet," "healthy eating," etc. because I don't like that topic, and I don't believe in diet culture.
I've had a few people give me their unsolicited opinions recently that I'm TOO skinny. (Wtf- I thought you couldn't be too thin or too rich?) Just kidding- it actually turns out that I probably agree with them- but again, there's a lot of shit going on behind the scenes with my doctors that they don't know about- SO KEEP YOUR FUCKING OPINION TO YOURSELF! Why do you think that I would care about, or want to hear your opinion in the first place? Cuz I really don't give a fuck what you think. I care about myself, my family, and most importantly- the opinion of my healthcare professionals- of whom I have an entire team working with me behind-the-scenes on Project My Weight Loss.
Why is my weight loss such a big deal this time around, and why is everyone so faux "concerned" about me? It's because I've been open and honest about having an eating disorder previously. (And now I almost regret it due to the way I'm being watched and judged currently.) But I'm recovered, and I've been recovered for over a decade. The story of me losing weight this time around is that it's per doctor's orders for having high cholesterol- and it's NOT due to me restricting because I have an eating disorder. Because of my past- I have an entire TEAM of doctors working through the best way to go about this with me, and it's been carefully planned and choreographed for a couple of years now.
Losing weight that's medically necessary because of my family's health history is not always the easiest task to figure out how to do safely, for someone with an eating disorder past, but that's why I have my psychologist, my psychiatrist, my primary care doctor, and a weight loss specialist weighing me in, and I don't need y'all weighing me in with your unsolicited opinions and ideas as well.
I was going to write a more educational post about my history with an eating disorder, because at the end of the day, I DO think it's important for us to share those experiences to take the stigma out of it. But this has turned into more of an angry rant, due to the backlash of sharing said experiences. But it doesn't matter what other people think. I will continue to share, and y'all will continue to judge, and the world will continue to spin. So standby my for the next post, in which I WILL share intimate details from my past. If it makes someone feel less alone, then it will have been worth it.
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