Start with One Simple Thing...

My first assignment was to spend a week making at least one decision per day by using my inner voice (iv.) The first day didn’t go well- as in- I arrived at the end of the day feeling as if there just hadn’t been any decisions for me TO make… But that couldn’t possibly be true, could it? Weren’t we faced with millions of choices as human beings every single day?

So I conferred with my life coach and she told me to ask my iv to pick out which mug I was going to drink my coffee out of the following morning. (Well, the joke’s on her, because I don’t drink caffeine!) But her point stands, that my day is made up of hundreds of micro-decisions that I’m not even paying attention to. I have a tendency to make snap, gut decisions (they happen so quickly I don’t even realize I’m making them.) This is actually pretty on brand for me because sacral is my authority in my human design chart. (No idea what that last sentence meant? Don’t worry- I’ll do a blog post on human design in a hot minute.)

It made me realize that a lot of these decisions are coming from a place of autopilot, being made merely out of habit. But how to parse which ones are coming from my sacral authority (iv) and which are just me walkin’ the same ol’ well-worn path? I wear a similar outfit every day (the most comfortable clothes I can find in my closet that fit.) I put very little effort into my appearance in general, unless I’m going into work, where I’m required to look good- and besides, wearing a uniform takes away any autonomy I might have. (My closet desperately needs an overhaul.) I eat the exact same breakfast every morning (unless I don’t have time and skip breakfast altogether.) And I never change the morning school routine with my hubby and kids (lest that destroy everybody else’s flow.) Hmmm… This could be harder than I thought…

To ease my transition, my life coach gave me a few prompts to work with. “Ask your iv what you could do today to make your weekend feel amazingly delicious and special.” She was asking this question on a Sat- a day most people are free to make wonderful and wild choices. For us alternative careerists of the world, though, the non 9-to-5 minions, it was just another day in the office (or in my case- my office in the sky.) I was flying a 7+ hour transoceanic flight home from London- after which would most certainly require a nap. Then my husband, Max, was going out with the boys, so I’d be home with the kids. It wasn’t until they went to bed at 8:30 that I had some time to settle in with my iv.

Usually I would relish in my alone time by tucking into some overpriced uber eats take-out, and a favored TV show (in this case- “A Handmaid’s Tale”) that Max would refuse to eat/watch, and just get my binge on (both episodes and food.) But tonight, my iv had other plans. She definitely wanted to get comfy right away. She wanted me in fleece jammies, with my hair out of the way, tucked up into my silk bonnet; and then she wanted me to get down to brass tacks. She told me to pull out my computer, and get to work on this blog. So I wrote for over two hours, entering into a flow state, and even forgetting to eat dinner! I was impressed with myself. Apparently when my iv knows, she knows.

 

The next day (Easter Sun,) in between dyeing Easter eggs, then hunting for them, and attending a matinee show with my mother-in-law, I found myself with a rare extra hour lying on the bed upstairs while Max was downstairs with the kids. Again, I decided to consult with my iv about what to do with this precious resource of time. Should I spend it meditating, or napping? I was weary, but I was also trying to hold myself accountable for following a daily meditation practice. “Let your body be the decision maker,” she said. “Put on the meditation, and if you need to rest, let yourself fall asleep. Your body knows what you need.” I fell asleep instantaneously.

What I was discovering, was that maybe it was less about making decisions from my iv for me, and more about just having conversations. I tend to make choices easily, which (I think) means I’m already making them using my iv for the most part. As such, this project is evolving to become more about getting to know my iv. So the next day I asked her a more complicated question. I said, “Is this new prescription of psych meds working out? Have we finally gotten the dosage correct?” She responded with, “It’s too soon to tell, you need more time for the levels in your system to even out. Be patient, and be consistent with them.”

At this point, I felt like I was talking to an oracle! The next day I asked her if I was pregnant- and she said NO immediately. (My period was late.) Because I’d been experiencing a lot of breast tenderness; Max was freaking out, and he wanted me to pee on a stick. So I did, (and she was right,) the answer was no. Which I'm absolutely ok with, because I have an IUD, so I’m not trying to get pregnant. My kids are already 8 and 10, so the days of breast feeding and diapers are long past. Although, if I'm honest, I would’ve been a smidge excited (and freaked out) if the answer had been yes. I always wanted to have a third child. My husband, most assuredly, did NOT. The following day, my period started (nearly two weeks late!) Turns out, I’m just getting old.