Pathologizing

Remember my discussion about all of us over-achieving 90s teens, and where we ended up? How we either made it as doctors, or we're burned out with a constellation of mental heath diagnoses? Well, I may fall into the latter category, ha ha.

In my last post, y'all indulged my lengthy explanation about my eating disorder, so now I'll give you another lengthy explanation about my other diagnoses. I'm just going to lay it all out on the table for you- the parts I agree with, the parts I don't agree with, and whether I think labels are helpful or not.

The thought process behind one of my first diagnoses, (depression;) was that it stemmed from my teenage years- with my father passing away when I was just fifteen. (I feel like such a cliche, cuz doesn't it always starts with a depression that begins when you're a teenager?) In my case, it originated from a very specific trauma, which probably also falls into the cliche category- (childhood trauma.) ANYWAY- he died of a massive heart attack just two days before my sweet sixteen. (Birthdays have never been the same since.) Because my other siblings were older than me, (my sister was on her way out the door- she was leaving a few months later for a summer internship prior to her freshman year of college.) I was the only one left in the house, alone with my mother.

My Journey with ED

It's hard to pinpoint exactly why or when an eating disorder begins. For most girls, it's during their teen years, and I'm no different. Mine is different from the classics; anorexia or bulimia, which is what people typically think of when they imagine an eating disorder. There are many more than just those, though, in case you were wondering. There's one where you compulsively overexercise. There's one called ARFID (which stands for Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and it has to do with not being ABLE to eat due to sensory issues surrounding food. It affects a lot of autistic and SPD (sensory processing disorder) kids. My eating disorder is binge eating disorder- and it's actually pretty common.

Binge eating disorder is when you use food as a coping mechanism, and it becomes an addiction. It's about emotional eating, and yo-yo dieting, (so there's a restrictive side to it as well.) The biggest difference between it, and bulimia, is that you don't purge. For many years, it was lumped with the other "extra" eating disorders in the DSM under Eating Disorder NOS, (which means Not Otherwise Specified.) In the DSM 5, it finally got its own category. You might be thinking- "well, shit, food is MY vice too, I overindulge sometimes and use it as a reward, or to numb my feelings." And you could be right. 90% of us have disordered eating; but only 10% of those have an eating disorder. Congrats if you're part of the 10% minority of Americans who eat completely normally. It's tough in our society- where we're bombarded with unrealistic appearance expectations by the media and social media. Then- (as a double whammy;) we may live in a food desert where the less nutritious options are the cheapest and most readily available (or only available option.)